SEEN Book Review

We mostly define leadership with those we work for or follow on social media. We put leaders such as Steve Jobs, Jack Welch, Henry Ford, and others on pedestals, aspiring to be like them. And then there are the great leadership books written over the last few decades geared towards those aiming to be that magnanimous leader. But what if l echoed what others have stated that “leadership begins at home.” And it’s so needed today.

Every generation hopes for greater prosperity for the next generation. We desire our values and life experiences to translate to an even more illustrious life for those that follow. However, today’s Generation Z is comprised of kids and teens who have experienced challenges in the last few years that previous generations haven’t had to endure, namely the pandemic and the influx of technology. Further more, the Barna Group’s 2022 study, How Teens Around the World Relate to Jesus, determined that Christian teens “without a commitment to follow Jesus” are less rooted in their communities; they “identify as outsiders.” Whether this relates to the growing concern for the mental health of kids and teens on top of the other issues isn’t noted. However, the levels of despair and anxiety have increased among this generation. It is time for those such as parents, teachers, coaches and pastors to become leaders in their homes, classrooms, and churches to address the needs of the children. Which brings me to the review of Hutcherson and Williams’ book, SEEN.

I picked up and then couldn’t put down the book SEEN. It gives the reader from the beginning a greater awareness of the emotional challenges facing children today. Some of us have been reviewing statistics as of late as they pertain to the children that make up Generation Z (we’ll call them Gen Zers). The statistics are, for lack of a better word, alarming. It is a generation filled with so much technology, but little human connection. And that is a problem! Let’s go further - it’s a problem for all of society and as a Christian nation we should want to save the children regardless of who they are or where they live!

As I went back through the book SEEN, I counted 22 pages that I had turned the corner of the pages down. I highlighted on nearly every page many insightful messages put forth by Hutcherson and Williams. The authors do tell the reader in the Preface that “we wrote this book from a Christian viewpoint.” And that is important to know, however the tools in the book can be used regardless of your faith.

Here are some quotes from the book:

“Because of my (Hutcherson) studies in psychology, I had a hunch that healing despair starts in the brain. I suspected that the primary tools for healing likely included empathy and love and that human connection could help heal the brain in despair.”

“Seeing them requires us to look beyond how they behave on the outside to try and understand what they may be feeling on the inside.”

I was so glad to see the authors use this word “empathy” several times in the book and am in total agreement that we as parents, teachers, small group leaders, and/or coaches should embrace and implement this word. Empathy is such a critical skill - putting one’s self in the shoes, so to speak, of someone else. In fact, you will find this word in more leadership books today as it’s a needed staple.

Empathy is dominant in the Golden Rule. Jesus states in Matthew 7:12 “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them……” Treat others the way you want to be treated. It begins with love. With these words, Jesus is encouraging people to love one another regardless.

Another quote from SEEN:

“Good listening starts by making sure you’re not the one doing most of the talking.”

Listening is another critical skill. Listen to your children. Let them speak.

When you respond once the child is done talking, the authors remind us to “watch our tone.” My mother used to say “sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” So she would be in agreement with the authors comment “Tone matters because it affects how kids interpret what we say.”

In chapter six, the authors remind us (I hope we’re being reminded and not hearing this the first time) to not only acknowledge our children but to accept and support them as well.

“Because of the barrage of critical and accusatory voices that echo around our teenagers, it is vital for parents and other caring adults to constantly speak affirming words to kids in every phase of life.”

Encourage children with positive words. God encourages us to do so to others. See Hebrews 10:24-25.

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Hutcherson and Williams began this book with a gut-punching statistic:

“The age group that has seen the highest increase in suicide rates is in kids age 10 to 14 years old.”

I hope after many have read SEEN, that such a statistic will be non-existent. We must save the children! God put these children on earth for a positive reason, whether to be an accountant, or a teacher, or a janitor, or a lawyer, or a food clerk, or an engineer, or in whatever profession that makes a difference in the lives of others. It is hoped that parents, coaches, small group leaders, and teachers will help children achieve their God-given purpose on this earth.

For the sake of our children, I strongly urge you to read SEEN!